Winter is blowing in fast and as I tried to get my toddler out of the car seat this morning in the driving, cold rain, I thought for the millionth time about how inconvenient it is that kids can’t wear decent outerwear in their car seats.

It wasn’t a big deal when she was a baby, because I could just toss a blanket over her. Even last year, I just wrapped her up close to me and ran for the building. But she’s getting bigger now. Fighting for every scrap of independence she can get.

So I thought, maybe I should just get her a poncho.

Then I thought, hey, I bet I could just make her a poncho.

I spent an hour or two Googling patterns and looking up fabrics on JoAnn’s website.

Then I thought, “maybe you should be realistic. You’re not really the kind of person who is going to do a sewing project like this.”

But what does that even mean? What kind of person do you have to be to sew a poncho for your toddler? I’m sure JoAnn’s doesn’t screen you for Martha Stewart In Training credentials when you buy supplies. I don’t have to show off a perfect poncho when it’s completed in order to receive my “Worthy of Respect as a Woman/Mother/Human” badge.

Crafting isn’t the only area where I do or do not based on the “kind of person” I am. Why spend money on quality kitchen gear? I’m not really the kind of person who will make it worth the investment. Why start a home remodeling project? I’m not really the kind of person who can plan and design what I want.

I criticize myself for my aspirations. I bought a cross-stitch kit and then talked down to myself because “just buying a kit isn’t going to make you the kind of person who does cross-stitch.”

What even is this nonsense?

I am whatever kind of person I want to be.

I am creative. I am capable. I am worthy and deserving. I can problem solve. I am strong. I am smart.

There is literally not one valid reason in this world that I can’t sew a poncho. Or write a novel. Or install a patio.

I’m not perfect, of course. But I am the kind of person who tries to be better, all the time. I can practice better discipline. I can manage my anxiety. I can stick with something and see it through even if I’m not brilliant at it straight away.

I can be the kind of person who recognizes when I spout this self-criticism and says, “Wait a minute. You don’t talk to yourself like that. You are kind to yourself.”

Yes. That’s the kind of person I am.